Does anyone know where this planet is plugged into the wall? You can tell me. It's okay. All I want to do is find the plug and yank it out of the socket so our entire species can die in the freezing darkness. Why am I feeling cranky? Is it the global warming? Man's inhumanity to man? The continued existence of Vanity Fair? Is it the blues? Because is there really anything so bad that our entire species needs to die?
Yes, there is.
It's called:
CELL PHONE DETECTIVES
Does this photo
make your soul
die, too?
Gah! Just look at those horrible things.
Not since the Manhattan Project have so many talented people been involved in a project so morally bankrupt. Takashi Miike, Shusuke Kaneko and Mamoru Oshii are getting together to direct a 51 episode TV series. I can't bring myself to even type up the series description, so here's Variety's take:
"The stories revolve around detectives who probe digital-network-related crimes and a teenager (Masataka Kubota) who helps them with the aid of his trusty, "Transformers"-like cell phone."
Digital Network Related Crimes? The dreaded DNRCs? Thank goodness there's finally a department to deal with all those people who steal the minutes from my monthly plan. And the "Transformers"-like cell phone has a name. Would you like to know it? It's "Phonebraver 7." The series premieres on April 2 at about the same time that Softbank is starting to sell Phonebraver 7 cell phones.
Commercial interests have always been a part of the entertainment industry. I'll even grant you that commercial interests are the driving force behind the entertainment industry. But, dear god in heaven, do we have to be so blunt about it? Why not just let Miike and the rest of them direct Softbank ads? Why hide it in a TV show? And if you want to argue with me that this show could possibly be good, then I'd like to draw your attention to this photo from the recent press conference, courtesy of NipponCinema:
A schoolgirl, a detective wearing dark glasses and a trench coat, Kubota holding up Phonebraver 7 while making Serious Face and Miike smirking. If recipes were written with pictures instead of words then this picture would be the recipe for disaster.
Part of my distress comes from the fact that along with the rest of Subway Cinema I've spent the last three months programming this year's New York Asian Film Festival and I think I've hit my limit on low to medium budget horror, fantasy and sci-fi films. Few of them feel original, and for the most part they're crafted with all the care and imagination you'd expect from a bunch of anonymous flicks designed to be rushed out for a quick sale at AFM or Cannes.
Omigod, look out, it's got legs!
Kill it. Kill it!
That's not to say there aren't some entertaining films in there, but too often you get a kick-butt opening scene, followed by an hour and twenty minutes of watching the film crawl up its own bottom until it implodes in a supernova of "who cares?" spraying "why bother?" schrapnel into my eyes. And it hurts me, sometimes.
COIN LOCKER BABIES, the Sean Lennon/Tadanobu Asano/Asia Argento flick based on Ryu Murakami's freaky novel of the same name, is one of those projects that first reared its head waaay back around 2000 and then disappeared, reappeared, swapped directors, and juggled the cast in the intervening 8 years so much that it'll make lightning shoot out of your navel just thinking about it.
The Ryu Murakami novel it's based on has been described to me a couple of different ways. Here's one:
"...the story revolves around a pop star and his twin and how they're trying to track down and murder the mother who abandoned them in a coin locker as, you guessed it, babies..." (Maboroshii Blog)
"COIN LOCKER BABIES...tells the tale of two unwanted infants abandoned in adjacent train station lockers at birth...Following a stint in an orphanage and some serious hypnotherapy, the pair are then raised as brothers before moving to Toxitown, a polluted city full of freaks and hustlers...Once there, one of the brothers becomes a transvestite rocker looking for fame and love, the other a pole vaulter whose girlfriend encourages him to destroy Tokyo." (Time Out London)
Novice filmmaker but experienced self-promoter, Jordan Galland (who has since gone on to write, direct and produce ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN ARE UNDEAD), was originally the co-writer with Sean Lennon and he was also set to direct (no longer true, according to IMDB). Not much happened with the project, although during that time Galland's band (Dopo Yume) appeared in a fashion spread in Vogue and were quoted in Vanity Fair saying, "If you want to understand Dopo Yume...then read Ada." That would be Ada by Vladimir Nabokov. That would also be the kind of thing that would get your burned at the stake if you said it pretty much anywhere else on earth except in Vanity Fair. Meanwhile, the movie moved along, bubbling up in a flurry of news items in 2005 before once more lapsing into silence, although it now has three writers attached to it besides Mr. Galland. Which might explain some of the possible script changes hinted at when there were ads posted in New York City for production assistants to work on the film back around 05. But since 2005...silence. Over at the Maboroshii blog there's news that it's bubbled up once more, plus the estimable Mr. Rucka has links to a Sean Lennon video that's supposed to include camera test footage made for COIN LOCKER BABIES. Also, while at the Smithsonian a couple of weeks ago to present a screening of MONGOL, one viewer reports that during the Q&A Tadanobu Asano confirmed that he would be playing Gazelle in COIN LOCKER BABIES but the viewer said he "did seem kind of tentative about it."
So...will 2008 see production of COIN LOCKER BABIES? Or will 2008 be much like 2007. And 2006. And 2005...and 2004...and 2003...and 2002...
(Thanks to Jason for sending in some of this news, and thanks to Kristen and Nick for the rest of it)
We give Jackie Chan a hard time around here, but yesterday his father passed away and so, even though I have some photos of Jackie riding a pony in some extremely silly togs, I won't be putting them up out of respect for his loss.
Jackie's dad, Charles Chan Chi-peng, was born in Shandong in 1914 and his story is that of millions of Chinese who grew up in pre-1947 China. He learned martial arts from Master Zhang at a young age (receiving most of his pugilistic education from Master Zhang's wife, in fact), dropped out of school, became an aide to a Nationalist general, was fired when he dropped his rifle which then discharged, worked on a cargo ship, engaged in some fabric smuggling, was arrested by the Japanese and forced to watch executions and told he was next in line, was finally freed through personal connections, went back to work for the army, was the victim of two assassination attempts by unknown communist agents, fled South, lost his first wife to cancer, lost both his parents to air raids, and wound up fleeing the country leaving behind two sons whom he didn't see until they were adults.
He moved to Hong Kong, became a chef, had Jackie, moved to Australia, and wound up enjoying a fabulous retirement courtesy of his son, who made more money than he knew what to do with during his career. He passed away at the age of 93 from prostate cancer. Jackie was out of the country working when it happened.
Three generations of Chans at Charles Chan's
birthday in December, 2007.
The half death mentioned above is that of Lydia Shum or, as she's known in Hong Kong, Fei Fei. The portly television actress died last week and the outpouring of sentiment has been pretty remarkable, although given that she's been a permanent part of the Hong Kong TV landscape almost from the time Hong Kong first had TV, maybe it's not so surprising, after all. Vancouver has declared Fei Fei Day to pay tribute to the actress (June 1, 2008), a memorial tribute concert will be held at the Hong Kong Coliseum on March 2 and the Hong Kong Film Archive will hold a retrospective of her movies from March 7 - 16 and they're going all the way back to movies she made as a teenager like DREAM OF THE RED CHAMBER (1962) and TEDDY GIRLS (1969).
But since China and Hong Kong have declared that they won't give any posthumous honors to Fei Fei, we'll let the mayor of Vancouver, who is honoring her with her very own day, have the last word:
"Her generosity and commitment to supporting community causes has set an example for all of us. More than the dark-rimmed glasses and trendy hairstyles, we will remember and celebrate her warm heart and wonderfully good humor."
I'd argue that "trendy" might not be the best word to describe her hair, but otherwise that's as fitting a tribute to her as I can find.
Edison Chen has retired from showbiz. Just when he had finally delivered a career-making performance in DOG BITE DOG his hobbies (hosting celebrities over to his house, photography, not understanding how his hard drive works) put the kibosh on his career.
Whoa, a picture of Edison made of all his headlines.
It's not a particularly deep movie, but Wilson Yip and Donnie Yen's FLASH POINT contains some of the most jaw-dropping action ever put on film. Yen basically puts every fighting style known to man into a blender, whips it up into a frothy energy drink and then pours about a gallon of it down his throat. He's like some kind of angry, possessed, hyperactive chihuahua and the last half hour of this movie is just a terrifying catalogue of all the ways a human being can pound you into submission with their elbows, knees, fists, feet and thighs.
No, no, no. Not FLASHPOINT...
...FLASH POINT. It's two words.
And now FLASH POINT is getting a theatrical release on March 14. From what I've heard this will be a ten print release, hitting screens in New York, Los Angeles and San Francisco. It'll be the first theatrical release of one of the Dragon Dynasty titles (THE PROTECTOR came out on DVD under Dragon Dynasty but was a Weinstein Company release theatrically, I believe), although there seems to be another label, Third Rail Releasing, that will be handling FLASH POINT.
FLASH POINT: it's like a big, cheesy plate of nachos punching you in the face.
- Daniel Wu has wrapped his shooting on Derek Yee and Jackie Chan's SHINJUKU INCIDENT. Also, he visits a sex museum.
- An interview with Bong Joon-Ho. He says, "The role of the monster in Gwoemul is progressively reduced throughout the film. The initial scene set in the military laboratory reveals an attraction-repulsion dynamic towards Americans that is also responsible for the fake virus invention that will disband Park family." He must be smart; I don't even know what that means.
- Bai Ling found some time to write a new post on her blog after her shoplifting arrest. It reads in part, "This is Life, just like the 4 seasons, you will be burned by the summer heat, you will be blind by the winter white snow, you will be taken away to another Station by the autum wind, you will be confused by the bright color of the spring, but life moves forward, life walks to your feet again while you are wondering, you will realize, the gentle waves of The blue sea are still caressing..." I honestly have no idea what she's talking about.
- Nonzee Nimibutr's got a release date for QUEEN OF LUNGSAKA - March 6. Also, details about his next movie (which is not a horror movie - "There are too many horror films in Thailand today," he says).
(Thanks to all the lovely people who sent these links in.)
Hong Kong is still preoccupied with the Edison Chen photos (21 days on the front pages of the major newspapers and counting) but over in China it's all Olympics, all the time. Which isn't such a good thing, actually. As South Korea discovered when it hosted the 1988 Olympics (read an overview of the cultural and economic effects of the games on Korea) you're getting the full attention of the world on you when you host the Olympics and that's like a big, strong searchlight shining in all your dirty corners. And politics go hand-in-hand with the Olympics, as Germany discovered both times it hosted the games, whether you like it or not.
China wants to take the good parts of hosting the Olympics without giving itself over to the bad parts but as they clamp down on their pop culture harder and harder their public image slips out of their grasp like a bar of soap. So what's going on six months out from the August start date?
Beijing Olympics Mascots are cute
but they feel out of control.
- Steven Spielberg has pulled out of his role as artistic adviser for the Olympics over China's role in Darfur. The official Chinese statement is predictable and a lot of online commenters are criticizing Spielberg, but there's also been a fair amount of criticism directed at China for being so incompetent at diplomacy that they couldn't convince Spielberg to stay, some columnists have called Zhang Yimou, who was co-advising with Spielberg, "China's Riefenstahl ," and there's even been a much-linked blog post wondering why Spielberg bothered with the government at all and didn't appeal directly to the Chinese people, publicly and in Chinese. That this can even be considered shows how feeble the government's grip on its own press is these days.
- The Weinstein Company has been denied permission to shoot their movie SHANGHAI in Shanghai. Featuring a massive international cast (John Cusack, Ken Watanabe, Gong Li, and probably Chow Yun-fat) the movie is now shooting in Hong Kong and Macau. China denied permission either because they were worried about the sex, violence and drug use in the film or because they're settling a grudge with TWC over that company dropping distribution of THE PROMISE, Chen Kaige's big national pride project movie from a few years ago.
As it tries to cope with any number of these issues, China is looking more and more out of touch and unable to cope with the fast and free flow of online information. A few years ago China would have been all over the Spielberg issue like white on rice, but it took them almost two days to issue a response and in the meantime it was all over the internet across China.
Even more politics at the Olympics.
Given how much agitas is swirling around in China this far out from the games themselves, China may learn in 2008, as any number of countries have learned before, you don't do the Olympics. The Olympics do you.
This is one of the first times I've heard of a US distributor releasing a movie, and then releasing it again a few months later with no mention being made of the previous release. Maybe I just don't get out enough?
Johnnie To's SPARROW screened at the Berlin Film Festival and the first round of American reviews hit the internet like this. Variety's Derek Elley praises it for its casual, breezy charms and calls it, "...a skittish, playful divertissement that looks set to divide his loyal fanbase." Elley also compares it to Johnnie To's THROW DOWN only without the "gravitas." Screen Daily's Lee Marshall adds more ice to the soupsaying, "...in the end the plot and the characters are too thin to turn a series of delightfully stylized setpieces into a fully satisfying film."
In the face of these mostly positive but relatively lukewarm reviews, the German press is downright astounding. Timo was kind enough to send this in and do the translation so I'm using his words here:
The Berliner Morgenpost says that SPARROW resembles the innocence of the Nouvelle Vague, and even argues that Johnnie To has been unfairly criticized for aspects Wong Kar Wai is frequently lauded for.
The Tagesspiegel says the film has a phenomenal showdown and is a welcome change of pace for To; as warming and musically enjoyable SPARROW is, the next logical step for To should be a musical.
Berlin Online says the film has a very moving story whose warmth comes from its lack of psychological elements.
Popular German online magazine Film Starts argues that SPARROW is OCEAN'S ELEVEN done better, focusing on style rather than excessive production values; a fantastically shot and very charming movie.
Kino-Zeit calls it a lovely homage to french gangster comedies of the 50s, a stylistically perfect and virtuosic film that bestows the viewer with pure joy.
The latter two reviews also say that To would have deserved the Golden Bear for the film, but that's unlikely to happen since the film is arguably too easy-going and unpolitical to win a heavy and prestigious prize.
I think the Wong Kar-wai comment is particularly on the nose. Wong and To both use mood and style as valuable modes of expression, treating character psychology and narrative as just two more pieces of a singular cinematic experience they're trying to create. They use all the tools in their arsenal to make movies that are complete works of art, rather than making their movies simply vehicles to deliver a narrative. But whereas Wong has his feet in emo romance, To has his in macho genre. He's who Wong Kar-wai would have become if AS TEARS GO BY was his true starting point, rather than a false start which gave way to DAYS OF BEING WILD, the movie that Wong and critics embraced as his "real" first film.
To is also engaged in something way beyond just telling a story (not that there's anything wrong with "just" telling a story - too many filmmakers have no clue how to do even that.) He's writing a history of Hong Kong through his recent movies, trying to capture its essence before it's gone. Whereas some people regarded the triad rituals in ELECTION 1 and 2 as boring digressions or moments where the plot slowed down, to To they were essential parts of his movie: recording these real rituals was as important as telling the story of his made-up characters. I haven't seen SPARROW yet, but based on interviews with To I wouldn't be surprised if the locations and cinematography, capturing the spirit of Hong Kong during a transitional period in its history, was as important to him as the plot twists in his tale of a pickpocket crew.
But while English-speaking critics (in general, not picking particularly on the two gentlemen mentioned above) fall all over themselves to touch the hem of Wong's garment, writing more and more articles on him the more boring his movies become as if they're trying to fill up the empty spaces he's giving them in a vain attempt to justify their love, Johnnie To movies, including THROW DOWN, his own personal favorite, are constantly being underestimated and dismissed. Peddled as disposable genre flicks, bombing at the box office despite good reviews or being completely misread by critics who have no context for his movies (the UK reviews for ELECTION were particularly embarrassing for that country) To seems doomed to break out of the genre ghetto everywhere else but where English is spoken.
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